How to try something new without looking like a dick

HIf you’re anything like me you will thoroughly enjoy the idea of trying something new in an effort to mix up your fitness routine. In reality you won’t. Mostly out of fear of looking like a dick.

Here are 3 surefire ways to try something new, without looking like a pee-pee.

Go with a friend

By having another by your side, you disperse the humiliation of being completely shit at a new activity. This is in fact a mathematical equation: where 100 is the activity, Y is the number of shit people undertaking X, which = humiliation quotient (100/Y = humiliation quotient). Example, you and your friend are equally shit house at dancing, however you both wish to undertake a dance class:

100/2 = 50 humiliation quotient. Not bad – considering if you went by yourself the humiliation quotient in said dance class would be at the maximum 100 (100/1 = 100).

However, if you can muster another 4 friends that are equally crap at dancing:

100/5 = 20 humiliation quotient. A much more palatable quotient.

Look for a beginner’s class

Many activities offer classes specific to beginners. What better way to not stand out for the wrong reasons than to surround yourself with equally clueless comrades? Whether the classes are labelled technique sessions, beginner class, or level 1 these are an entry level delight to ease in to a new activity and thus minimizing your exposure to looking like a wang.

Observe

Another way to familiarize yourself with said activity before you make a dick of yourself, is to watch. For example if there is a group fitness class you want to try, go along and have a quick squiz. The optimal word here is *quick*. Don’t be a creeper and watch for more than half a class (disconcerting for all involved) and don’t stare at the same person for more than a few seconds (particularly with your mouth open. The fuck are you doing?). With your closed mouth, take note of the format, the language, the moves and to see if there is anyone worse than you (ultimate score). So now when you attend the new class as a newbie you will have enough familiarity that you will blend beautifully in to the background.

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