Tired of Cooking reality shows that go for 26-weeks and have nothing more to show than meat and 3-veg and a deflated cake? Or Reno shows cast with prima donnas who make hundreds of thousands of dollars from their garishly styled apartments sold at triple the market rate? Well shove the fuck over, because it’s time to reinvent the genre of Fitness reality TV. I’ve jotted down some ideas to pitch to networks:
Keeping up with the Kardashians style
A simple concept where cameras follow fitness professionals as they go about their day. Prepare to be fascinated by the lifestyle of personal trainers as they train a client, eat, sleep, train a client, eat, sleep, train a client, eat, sleep. Or go behind the glamorous scenes of group fitness instructors as they learn choreography in their underpants on the sofa with a face full of Twisties.
Ninja Warrior style
I’m talking a real obstacle course: dodge the hairball, find the other 10kg dumbbell and get a bench during peak hour.
A game of discipline and restraint. Who can go the longest without posting about their gym session? Who has the self-control to not take a single gym bathroom selfie? And the ultimate test of all: doing a gym session without their phone.
Australia’s Got Talent style
Marvel as talented Australians perform exercises found on YouTube without killing themselves.
You Can’t Ask That style
Asking taboo questions of minority groups without fear or judgement. For example, asking a fitness influencer: what are your qualifications?
I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here style
Where gym staff are left to fend for themselves on the gym floor, competing in trials that test them both physically and mentally. Watch as they leave the gym at 10pm and come back the next morning at 5am, shudder as they clean up random people’s sweat, blood and other bodily fluids off equipment, and recoil as they consume gym-tucker such as celery juice and any “dessert” made from avocado and stevia.