Wellness trends we would LIKE to see in 2019

Plant Burgers? Non-binary skin care? Mysticism? Shove over shit wellness trends, here are 3 we can actually get behind (and know what the fuck they actually mean):

Workouts based on mood

From “shit day at work” to “half asleep” to “would rather be binging on Red Rock black pepper and truffle chips” – workouts based on your mood would utilise your energy in the most effective way to fuel your workout:

“Shit day at work?” May we offer you a boxing class with complementary scream room?

Silent gyms

Inspired by yesterdays article (3 ways to navigate the gym when you hate talking to people), what if you could enjoy all the benefits of the gym such as classes, equipment and motivation with the promise that no-one will talk to you? Just saying that whoever bank-rolls this idea will have a license to print money. Sign me up.

The supermarket diet

If you can’t find said ingredient in a normal person supermarket it is immediately struck from your diet. Need the virgin plant juice of the native Himalayan cactus? Is it in isle 3 at Coles? No? Then shut-the-fuck up and go get the potato gems.

P.S. for the love of fucking god if I continue to see high intensity interval training (HIIT) as a new trend for 2019 I will scream. Is your research from the 1980 edition of Encyclopedia Britannica? FYI “for the love of fucking god if I continue to see high intensity interval training (HIIT) as a trend in 2019 I will scream” would totes be a class at my Silent Gym.

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