3 fitness new years resolutions (and not a #booty in sight)

Be a better gym floor citizen

Yes I hate people too – but you see those randomly strewn orphan weights you stepped over? Pick them up and put them away. Your gym karma bank account will be brimming!

While we’re on the gym floor, if you see someone eyeing off the equipment/weights you are using, ask if they want to jump in the set with you, or let them know how much longer you will be. I know, I know – talking to people. Yesterday at the gym I could see a gentleman looking for the dumbbells I was using and I went up to him and said I would just be 30 more seconds with them if he wanted to wait. I could literally see the moment he shat himself. Just a side note here – this is not a good state of human-to-human affairs when one human talking to another in a considerate manner is such a shocking/shit producing incident. This goes way beyond gym karma my friends – this stuff is human-race transforming as we remind our fellow citizens how to politely communicate via the spoken word (and not just via memes and GIFs). And to think we could start this revolution at the squat rack…

Un-follow anyone that makes you feel poo

I follow a lot of people on social media for Wretched research purposes that I wouldn’t normally follow. And even though these aren’t my people, even though I’m certified sane(ish), even though I know better and even though in my scheming head I’m plotting what to write about them – there is still one part of my brain that makes me feel bad I’m not as pretty/popular/successful. This is despite the more smarter-er part of my brain knowing full well these are filters/followers not friends/highlights reel, not real life. So how’s this, in 2019 you un-follow anyone that makes you feel shit, and I’ll take one for the team and follow them all – then you can read the absurdity of them right here (and then you can support me through my therapy afterward).

Say no to #bodygoals

Instead of #bootygainz #sixpackgirl #bicepsworship (sadly all true) what about something less based on genetics and being hungry, like a skill or a fitness goal? For example, learn to do a handstand or be able to squat your own body-weight (bonus #bootygainz).

In the research for #bodygoals I’ve since discovered my latest most hated hashtag. Move over #fitspo, move your ass (literally) #booty – we have a new winner:

 #sweatingforthewedding (over half a million mentions).

I. Just. Can’t. This is horrible. No sooner though did my temporal artery go in to overdrive, the much more sensible #sweatingfortheweddingandbeyond caught my twitchy eye. However in a nod to the state of humanity right now – this much more sane hashtag has only so far managed 219 mentions, gotta start somewhere right? (Side note: while I discovered the worst hashtag, I did find one of the best: #sweatingforcake). While absolutely a major life event is killer inspiration to get started, don’t forget the #andbeyond…otherwise you might find yourself contributing to the sequel of #sweatingforthewedding:

 #fatafterthewedding.

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