Wipe away your glazed-ham tears: 3 offers you can’t refuse

Somewhere just after Christmas day and right before hot X buns make their first appearance (27 December obvs), a deluge of fitness offers begin to besiege your eyes, ears and other senses as the gym marketing gods sense your self-loathing after days-upon-days of indulgence and leftovers.

Below are just 3 such offers that have undoubtedly assaulted your senses in the last 48-hours and read on how you can make the most of each-and-every-one of them:

 Gym offers GA-LORE

Free trials, no joining fees, gift vouchers  – this time of year is a gym owners wet dream and they will throw every offer in the book at you to grab your attention, affection and John Hancock on the dotted line for 12-months . And it’s not a bad thing: you could score the greatest deal of the year *ahem* if you use your membership that is – otherwise all you got yourself is a 52-week direct debit reminder of another new year’s resolution that never was.  

This is for you if: you have a gym that is convenient to home or to work. If you have to go out of your way to get to the gym in any way shape or form, in the long term – forget it.

How to make the most of gym offers galore: Try. Everything. Get stuck in to all the services available at said gym – utilising this kind of membership for all it has to offer is when you get the best value. Group fitness classes? I’ll be facing the wrong way for a bit, but great! Circuits on the gym floor? I don’t know my snatch from my thruster, but I’ll learn! Keep an open mind and be brave. Feeling self-conscious? The new year is a perfect time for beginners at the gym; there are hundreds of other petrified like-minded friends there at the same time – and yes they are friends: it’s funny how near death experiences bring people together.

7-day/21-day/30-day challenges

How enticing! To think that in 7-short-days you could go from: #sweatingwhileeating to #sweatyselfie (side note: #sweatingwhileeating has a credible 216 posts). A challenge is super alluring: in 7-days [insert promise here]. This is far more inviting than the un-marketable (but true) “fitness is a daily habit for life”. The obvious question with challenges is: what happens on day 8? Day 22? Day 31?

This is for you if: you have struggled in the past to get started, and a manageable number like “7-days” gets you kick-started. Don’t bother starting though if you don’t have a plan for day 8/22/31 and beyond.

How to make the most of challenges : first of all see them for what they are – just a start, not a means to an end (unless someone is selling a subscription to a 10,000 day challenge). Use the challenge period as a time to learn: is it understanding meal portion sizes? Healthy snack ideas? New exercises? Use this information for the days/forever after the challenge to continue the good habits you have started. You might also like to sign up to challenges periodically to kick your ass if you have spectacularly army rolled off the wagon in to a burning thistle bush.

On-line programs

If you have ever liked, loved, double tapped, searched, commented on, or breathed in the direction of anything fitness related on social media – right now you will not escape ads for on-line fitness programs (by the likes of Kayla Istines and Kelsey Wells for example – whom by the way I copped serious attitude from one of her followers for not knowing who she was. Sorry to you angry/hangry 13-year old). Pay monthly/annually for access to their gym program – as your bad-ass motivated-self just does what you are told electronically. Go you!

This is for you if: you can motivate yourself to do the workouts/follow the meal plan with no-one really keeping you accountable (unless you count a Facebook group and a bunch of emails as keeping you accountable).

How to make the most of on-line programs: if you want to transform your body – 80% will be due to what you put in your mouth, not a 15-minute circuit every-other day in your lounge room. Most on-line programs will come with an eating plan – if the eating plan is an optional extra – get it. It’s not optional if you want to see a change in your physical self. In all honesty, if you religiously stick to an on-line workout and eating plan, even the worst one, you are pretty much guaranteed a result (result could be malnutrition and near death, but whatever #shred). Finding a friend to do the on-line program with you will help with the motivation angle if you struggle in that area – at least that way you can feel bad – in person, for not doing the program.

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