You gotta hand it to ‘em – this click bait* got me good…and I’m fucken furious:
HEADLINE: This Aussie Fitness bloggers honest post on cellulite has gone viral
Now this I gotta see! I so eagerly looked up @sophactivlife to see for myself this cellulite picture so worthy of this viral status. As I scrolled through 1-million-billion perfectly posed, proportioned and filtered images I found “the photo”.
Okaaaaaaaaaaaaay. Not only did I have to scroll through a kilometre of impossibly gorgeous and honestly – fucken irritating posts: STEP OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE. It almost always feels gross, scary and wrong, but it’s one of the fastest way to grow and shift closer to the person you were put on this earth to be – 22 October, accompanied by a photo of @sophactivlife in a red g-string ¯\_(ツ_/¯ but when I finally got to this viral-status-worthy post, I was sorely disappointed to find an image that was 99% perfection instead of 100% .
So fuck you headline. Not only did a read an article – which to be honest – was a little too fucken long, I got lost in the abyss of an “influencers” Insta feed. I hate you. And now I slightly hate myself.
HEADLINE: This one dietary change helped me save $800 per month
“One small change halved this woman’s grocery bill”
Ooooo yes please! I bleed money at the supermarket – and I’m lazy – so one small change I can do! What is it what is it? I’ll do it straight away!
“I went Vegan”
The fuck? The “small change” is you did a complete 180 on your eating habits and thus eliminated 97% of things you can actually purchase at a supermarket.
Get. The. Fuck. Out.
HEADLINE: Bachelor front runner Sophie reveals the trick that reduces her appetite
Look I won’t lie – I love a little diet-hack. Anything that requires no effort on my part. So I am curious as to what a Bachelorette could possibly know that I haven’t seemed to have picked up after 2-decades in the fitness industry:
“She eats a big breakfast”
This is proof to me that publications are running outta shit to say when it comes to health and fitness. You need material? Come to me: I got plenty to say (including the word fuck. A lot).
*click bait is the term given to a headline that is SO enticing that you just have to click through to the full article – when in actual fact the article is a piece of shit as demonstrated above. Therefore you were baited…to click. And you should be outraged.